just wants to play video games

call me oppy • 21 • they/them • nonbinary aroace • student, artist, and nerd • messages are always welcome! :D

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Posts tagged actuallyautistic:

saw it mentioned for the first time in a tweet earlier so i thought i'd talk a little about how autism has affected my ability to form friendships

vent warning

ive never seen anyone talk about this before, and now that im thinking abt it properly i don't get it at all. friendship has definitely been the thing my autism has had the greatest impact on in my life.

the last time I made a new friend that I kept contact with for a long time was 6 years ago and that's an online friend i still talk to at least weekly

the last time i made a friend that i didn't immediately lose contact with after we didn't have classes together anymore was /9 years ago/ and that person is still my best and probably only friend

if it were't for going to school i don't think i'd be able to have even those passing friendships with classmates, i'd be completely alone.

as i'm getting older and getting better at doing adult things, i'm drifting farther and farther from being able to have a social life at school. this semester i don't have anyone in any of my classes i would even consider an aquaintance and my previously mentioned best friend just moved to a different state with their family

as it stands rn my only proper social interaction is with my brother online, and my dad and a couple of his friends that visit occasionally (tho usually drunk so... :/)

I'm scared for my future, with no way to make close friends and i doubt i can live alone, but im also terrified of strangers

i think all this (along with my increasing dysphoria) is why i'm struggling so much with classes rn. I probably rly need to get some help but without a car or any money my options are extremely limited

im just....

feeling kinda hopeless and idk what to do